I just found out one of my dearest friends has colon cancer…. She’s having surgery soon and until then she waits on a test to tell her if she’ll lose part or all of her colon…. She’s only 31….. And the mother of an almost 13 month old little boy…. Y’all…. please pray for my friend….or send good thoughts or vibes or whatever you do….This is just so….wrong…..

It’s amazing how much I can get done around the house when I have almost 4 hours without Cloe… I have:
- put away all of Cloe’s clean laundry
- corralled all her dirty laundry into her hamper
- moved her old cradle and Christmas presents into her room
- put the Halloween decorations back in the attic
- gotten all of the Christmas decorations except for the tree out of the attic (they still won’t get put up until I get back from the Bahamas at Thanksgiving because I’d like to enjoy THAT holiday and not skip it thank you very much)
- put away all my clean clothes that had been living in the laundry basket for two weeks
- washed and started drying my underwear laundry
- tidied the living room
- moved SEVERAL of Cloe’s stuffed animals back to her room where they belong
- got ALL of her socks paired & moved all the too small ones into a labeled ziplock to go into the attic
- same with all her cloth bibs she no longer uses
- took out all the trash in the house
- picked out Cloe’s clothes for the whole next week


I feel like there’s more I’m forgetting but still. Yay for me!

Something I Wish I Could Say

I’m in a weird mental space today.

Weird. But good. I think.

Jury’s still out.

Here’s the thing. I’m 99.999999999% sure you have ZERO interest in me. 

However.

I think that’s actually okay. I think we have the potential to be very good friends & I really hope that’s the case. I’m certain you’re the kind of friend I’d want to have in my corner. I see how you are with our mutual friend. I see how you are with your sister. You can play the asshole role with whoever you want, but honestly I just find it funny. Your prickishness is amusing. But there’s more than that. When we were introduced, you asked me to give you my fastest autobiography. The second phrase out of my mouth was, “I’m a single mom.” Now. You need to understand something. When I say that. The VAST majority of people (probably a good 90-95%) look at me with something akin to pity. They have that face that says, “oh poor you…your life must be so hard…how ever do you manage.” But you didn’t do that. You nodded & said, “good for you.” You have no idea what that small thing meant to me. Three little words, but boy were they powerful. 

So. Yeah.

If you’re not into me; I’m okay with that.

Let’s be friends. Let’s become really really good friends.

And you should know, that I’m what some think of as a bit of a mama bear of a friend. I love my friends with absolute ferocity. I will do anything for them. And woe betide anyone who hurts or even tries to hurt them, because I’m FROM Memphis. I can get real ghetto REAL fast and I WILL cut a bitch if I need to.

Cloe’s first trip to the pumpkin patch was a success :) She picked out her 2 pie pumpkins & 2 minis (the deal we got through groupon) all by herself & did such a great job. What can I say, kid has good taste in gourds haha. She liked the hayride & LOVED being able to run around outside to her hearts content. The only thing she didn’t like was having to leave! I definitely think this is a tradition I would like to continue for years to come.
Zoom Info
Cloe’s first trip to the pumpkin patch was a success :) She picked out her 2 pie pumpkins & 2 minis (the deal we got through groupon) all by herself & did such a great job. What can I say, kid has good taste in gourds haha. She liked the hayride & LOVED being able to run around outside to her hearts content. The only thing she didn’t like was having to leave! I definitely think this is a tradition I would like to continue for years to come.
Zoom Info
Cloe’s first trip to the pumpkin patch was a success :) She picked out her 2 pie pumpkins & 2 minis (the deal we got through groupon) all by herself & did such a great job. What can I say, kid has good taste in gourds haha. She liked the hayride & LOVED being able to run around outside to her hearts content. The only thing she didn’t like was having to leave! I definitely think this is a tradition I would like to continue for years to come.
Zoom Info
Cloe’s first trip to the pumpkin patch was a success :) She picked out her 2 pie pumpkins & 2 minis (the deal we got through groupon) all by herself & did such a great job. What can I say, kid has good taste in gourds haha. She liked the hayride & LOVED being able to run around outside to her hearts content. The only thing she didn’t like was having to leave! I definitely think this is a tradition I would like to continue for years to come.
Zoom Info
Cloe’s first trip to the pumpkin patch was a success :) She picked out her 2 pie pumpkins & 2 minis (the deal we got through groupon) all by herself & did such a great job. What can I say, kid has good taste in gourds haha. She liked the hayride & LOVED being able to run around outside to her hearts content. The only thing she didn’t like was having to leave! I definitely think this is a tradition I would like to continue for years to come.
Zoom Info

Cloe’s first trip to the pumpkin patch was a success :)

She picked out her 2 pie pumpkins & 2 minis (the deal we got through groupon) all by herself & did such a great job. What can I say, kid has good taste in gourds haha. She liked the hayride & LOVED being able to run around outside to her hearts content. The only thing she didn’t like was having to leave! I definitely think this is a tradition I would like to continue for years to come.

End of day 2 of compete radio silence….
I hate this so much….
What’s wrong with me???

Where I come from, texting a girl an hour after she gives you her number & leaves your presence sends a certain message. As do the NUMEROUS winking emoticons in those messages. Not to MENTION you flat out telling her you’re interested a few hours before all that.


I’m so frustratesd.

“I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep.”

Sigh.
Tonight is not a good night. I’m feeling so down.
Sometimes…..I think….I have a child, I have this person who is literally with me all the time…and yet…..sometimes….like tonight… I have never felt more alone.
And not only does that make me sad, but it makes me so mad…at myself, at Jon, everything that led me here….although I would never trade Cloe for ANYTHING….I just don’t want to feel like this.

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